Monday, February 4, 2013

Our Birth Story

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We had been told for months and months that Avery was measuring "ahead of schedule". At my 36 week growth scan, her head alone was measuring at 39 weeks! Because of this, my doctor felt comfortable inducing labor when my due date came and went. I felt unsure about whether or not I really wanted to induce. I knew I didn't want pitocin (the drug that starts labor) because it comes on unnaturally strong. But I also knew that if she was as large as they were estimating (between 9 and 10 pounds) she was only going to get bigger the longer she cooked. I was 9 pounds 6 oz myself, so it didn't surprise me that my own daughter might be around the same size. Four days past my due date, Brandon and I woke up at 4:00 am and made our way to the hospital. It was hard to sleep that night. We kept saying "the next time we're in this bedroom we'll have a little munchkin with us." I have never been more excited to meet anyone in my whole life.

At 5:00 am we arrived and got checked in. We were in our room by 5:30, and pitocin was started at 6:00. I was still dilated to 4. By 7:00 am contractions were a consistent 4 minutes apart. This continued for about three hours, they continued to get closer together and more painful. By 10:15 am I was dilated to 7. They decided to break my water which was going to make labor come on a lot stronger. Within ten minutes, they were so much more intense. Brandon and my mom were by my side the whole time. Brandon continued to remind me to breathe through them. It was so easy to forget and get overwhelmed by the pain. Within an hour or so, I was crying through the contractions. The nurses came in every 15 minutes to turn up the pitocin and I hated them for it, haha. A couple of hours later, I asked for the epidural. At 1:30 pm my wish was granted. I told them I still wanted to feel my legs as I didn't want to have any trouble pushing when the time came. It was perfect, it was just enough to take the edge off. For about an hour I was a happy camper. It started to wear off, and the pain became more and more intense. Brandon and my mom helped me breathe through them again. At this time, my best friend Kandi had come into the labor room. I felt so comforted being surrounded by the people I am closest with. The anesthesiologist came back and upped the epidural. There was more relief, but one of my legs went limp and I didn't like that feeling. By 5:45 pm I was dilated to 10 and they told me I would start pushing in about 15 minutes. 

I already felt so exhausted at this point, and began to get so nervous about pushing. Again, my mom, sweet husband and best friend coached me through the next three hours. They were all counting and reminding me to breathe. At this point, I am convinced my epidural was gone. I could feel everything. The pain was so intense it took my breath away, but while I was pushing there was temporary relief. At the two hour mark, I could tell on the nurses face that she didn't think it was going to happen. She told me that baby's head was not tucked with the crown of her head facing down. Instead her head was lifted and it was her forehead that kept pushing down on my pelvic bone. This was making it extremely difficult to get her underneath my pelvic bone. My doctor came in and told me that I could push for another hour, but then we might need to talk about a c-section. I began to cry and feel panicky. I didn't want a c-section, but I didn't know how much longer I could keep going. Between contractions I felt like I was blacking out, I would fall into a deep sleep and the pain of the next contraction would wake me from it and I would push. I did this for another hour.

At 9:00 pm the nurse left to go get the doctor and I knew I was going to need a c-section. I just kept crying. I was crushed and felt like I had failed. At this point, I was demanding an epidural and the strongest one they had. I had let the epidural run out because I wanted to push effectively. Probably 20 minutes later, the anesthesiologist came back and gave me a spinal which made me completely numb from about the ribs down. Brandon started putting his scrubs on, and they made my parents and Kandi leave the room. They wheeled me down the hall and began to set up in the Operating Room. Brandon had to stand outside while they set up, and I was alone in the room, scared, nervous but so ready to meet our little girl. The spinal made me shake uncontrollably, which I felt was taking up the little energy I had left. Finally Brandon was able to come in, and just sat by my side holding my hand. 

I wasn't really present. I felt like I was going in and out, the exhaustion taking over.

Over the next half an hour I could feel pressure and tugging and couldn't believe how rough it seemed to be to get her out. We heard all four doctors gasp at the same time, and one said "Look at the size of that head!" I smiled up at Brandon because I knew that meant she was almost here. Brandon said it felt like an eternity before we heard her cry. Her cry was so loud and filled the whole room. I began to cry again. Brandon got to cut the cord (although it had already been cut - he just got to make it shorter :-)) and he got to see them weigh her and clean her off. He told me later that he had never seen a cone head like hers. Poor thing was being pushed and wedged against my pelvic bone for three hours. Her head looked normal a couple of hours later when I was awake enough to really see her. I remember laying there shaking, and feeling delirious while all of the doctors talked about her size. She was 9 pounds 13 ounces. A few minutes later Brandon brought her over to me and just laid her by my face. The feeling of her warm cheek against mine is one I will never forget. Brandon kept telling me how beautiful she was. In the recovery room about an hour later I got to really hold her and look at her, and feed her for the first time. She was truly everything I could have ever hoped for.

People will tell you that you will experience a love like you never have before, and I thought I understood what that would feel like, but I had no idea. I also wasn't prepared for the overwhelming emotions I would feel towards Brandon. Watching him with his little girl makes my heart swell until I feel it could burst. He was the one who changed her, swaddled her, rocked her and held her for the first couple of days while I was healing. It was so hard for me to have this brand new baby and not really be able to take care of her the way I wanted to.

Brandon introducing me to our daughter for the first time.

I can't believe it's already been two weeks! 
 Little bow headband by CaliKatrina
The first few weeks have flown by. They have been the hardest and most rewarding days of my life. 
We're a little sleep deprived, and a lot in love.  

Feel free to follow us on Instagram for more pictures.

Photobucket

34 comments:

Makaila said...

she is BEAUTIFUL!! You did an amazing job! I completely related to how you said you felt like you were blacking out. I say that I DID black out for most of the 3 hours of pushing with my son.. eeek! the memory! :) Congratulations!

Miss ALK said...

Awwww this is the most precious post ever! Congratulations!

xoxo Miss ALK

lex said...

SO BEAUTIFUL!
she is absolutely adorable.
congratulations sweet mama :)

Cara said...

So sweet! She is such a doll. I am so happy that everything went well and you and baby were fine during her birth. Congrats again and I can't wait to see more pictures!

Danielle Carroll said...

She is so beautiful! So glad everything turned out okay! Can't wait to see more pics!

Courtney said...

Congratulations on your precious little one! =)

Kendall said...

I'm totally tearing up while reading this. Birth stories are so incredible and amazing! You are one tough mama !! Congrats again!

Amanda said...

She is adorable! That head full of hair is just gorgeous! Congratulations!

Whitney Tomlin said...

Teared up while reading this! It makes me so excited for our sweet girl to get here. Congrats! She is beautiful! I was 9.14 when I was born, bless you! haha

melissa atkinson said...

Seriously, we have the almost the same exact birth story. Made me relive Payton's all over again! You did it and she's gorgeous! Enjoy every minute of snuggles!!

Liz said...

She is precious! You did a great job mama! Don't ever feel like a failure!

Lindsay said...

These are such great pictures! She is so adorable with all that hair! Congrats again...hope you all are doing well!

Empirically Erin said...

Amira, this story made me cry!! So beautiful. She is such a pretty newborn and there aren't many of those! Thank you for sharing your story. I'm so glad you're enjoying your time with your little one.

Patty said...

What an incredible experience! She's beautiful and you all are radiating happiness.

Congratulations :)

lo @ crazy ever after said...

Tears, my friend. This made me cry many, many tears. Love you, my little blog bestie. So happy for you.

Denise said...

She is seriously the cutest baby girl I've ever seen! And wow 9 pounds! I had a C Section too and they are definitely not fun but no matter how that baby gets out, it's always so worth it! Congrats again mommy, she's beautiful but I tell you that every day on instagram haha :)

Justine said...

This brought tears to my eyes! Congratulations! You're such a strong mama!

v.jack said...

She's beautiful! Glad she's finally here! Keep enjoying her, Amira & Brandon!

Brenda Wilkerson said...

She is BEAUTIFUL! Thanks for sharing your touching story. You're brave!

Michelle {lovely little things} said...

Look at that full head of hair! Wow, mama, you did good :)

Valerie Griffin said...

i LOVED reading this. she is GORGEOUS! way to go, momma :)

Katrina {calikatrina.blogspot.com} said...

Mama! So so happy for you. I got chocked up reading this and seeing these pictures. I don't say it often, cause it usually isn't the case, but reading this makes me want another. Those first newbie moments, hours, days... are heaven. Enjoy everything!

ps. that bow picture is my new all-time fave. IN LOVE.

xo!

Sini said...

I'm so happy for you ! I got watery eyes while reading the birth story. It must have been hard, but amazing feeling in the end when you had your beautiful baby in your arms. Lots of love and hugs!

Sue said...

I loved reading your birth story. I'm so glad you had all the love and support you did through it all! Avery is so beautiful.

Sarah Shumate said...

Avery is such a beautiful little thing! I'm so glad she arrived safely and you guys are doing okay! I hope you can get some real rest soon! :o)

Helen said...

Ahhhh she's so beautiful! Tearing up here girl!

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot said...

this post made me cry. Seriously. I am so happy for you guys and cant wait to experience those same feelings!

Recently Roached said...

Freaking adorable. You're a rockstar.
I want one. ;)

Fran said...

You made me tear up over here - she is so beautiful!

The Not Quite Military Wife said...

Is that a dimple? So cute! Loved your story and hope you are enjoying being a mommy!

Lindsay B. said...

She is so sweet and beautiful! Love that little headband bow!

Hailey Marie said...

Amazing!! Beautiful photos and an incredible story. Congratulations on your beautiful girl!!

My mom had both my brother and I by c-section and when she was having my brother (he's older), the doctors yelled the same thing "My God! Look at the size of that head!" which has to be the worst thing you could say to a mother while she's giving birth, lol, but I love that for you it was a sign that she was almost there!

xo Hailey

vickichristine said...

i feel ya girl. such similar stories! congrats again! :)

Emily said...

I love your story! But I love your little lady even more.

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