Friday, February 17, 2012

Marriage

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Brandon and I are heading to Arizona for a wedding this weekend.
One of his buddies from Law School is finally tying the knot and we can't wait to be there.
It's been awhile since I've been to a wedding and it got me thinking about our own.
I can't believe it's already been a year (and almost a half).
I wanted to share something I guest-wrote for Karla's blog a couple of months ago.
Ten Things I've Learned in my 1 Year of Marriage:
1. Marriage is fun! You get to have slumber parties with your best-friend every.single.night. 
although he will not tickle your back or play with your hair nearly as much as you want him to 
{and there will be more slumbering than partying on most nights.}

2. Never stop pursuing each other. My parents are such a wonderful example of this. They've been married for 32 years and I still find them making out, dancing in the kitchen and holding hands. It's so unfortunate to see some couples, over time, who simply stop making an effort to make each other feel special.

3. That clearing my throat while rubbing my neck and telling him how parched I am will almost always guarantee I get a cold glass of water...even if it's just after he's climbed into bed {in fact this seems to be when I am thirstiest.} 


4. Choose your battles. He's going to fart. He's going to leave the toilet seat up. Are these the most important things in the world? No. (Although in our house it's more like "She's going to leave her shoes all over the house" and "he's going to continue to turn off the heater when you aren't looking.") 

5. Having a great marriage can be hard work. Like anything you want to excel at, it takes patience, dedication and a lot of TLC. I think it's easy to get lazy and comfortable and start taking each other for granted. You have to make a choice every day to put your marriage before your own wants and desires a lot of the time. We feel lucky enough to share a lot of those wants and desires so it makes it easier :-)

6. Forgive. You've made a promise for life. You're also human which means you are going to make lots of mistakes over the course of forever. Forgive, learn, and keep on keepin' on. 


7. COMMUNICATE. Brandon and I dated for about 3 years before we got married and something that I learned very early on was just to tell him how I'm feeling as straightforwardly as possible. Guys don't seem to get hints. If he said something that bummed me out, I don't want to mope about it all day until he realizes what's happened and can come groveling after me {well maybe I do sometimes.} Just be as upfront and honest as possible. 

8. Brandon is my partner in life and someone that I always want to be around but he cannot be my absolute everything, nor I his. I would lose it without my girl friends. We think it's important to have guys' nights or girls' nights, and have separate hobbies. I do NOT want to go out into the garage and work on cars with him. He does NOT want to wear facial masks and paint his toe nails with me. And that's okay :-) 

9. Compromise. Being right is NOT the most important thing. This is something that Brandon and I are still working on, haha. We're both super competitive, and stubborn and sometimes in the heat of the moment being right about something so insignificant can seem like the most important thing in the world. It's not. And I think this attitude can take it's toll on a relationship. So if you're reading this Brandon, let's just admit that I'm usually right and move on ;-) 

10. Accept and embrace your partner for who they are. At the end of the day isn't that what we all want? Someone who loves us just the way we are -- peanut bladder and all. Someone we feel safe with, someone who just "gets" us. Learn to love someone for who they are and forgive them for who they are not. 

What makes your partnership unique?
We are complete opposites and somehow we work. I'm talking bleeding heart liberal meet your conservative, gun-toting husband. I'm always cold, he's always hot. He has the patience of a saint, I have the patience of a two year old sans a nap. I'm passionate and fiery -- and he's cool, calm and collected. But I'd like to think I add quite a bit of spunk to his life (maybe more than he initially bargained for) and he absolutely calms the lunatic worry wart I can so quickly turn into.

When you think about your future what gets you super excited?
Little Grays!!! You guys, I went to SEVEN baby showers in 2011 and it's given me a slight case of baby fever. We aren't quite ready yet but the thought of seeing Brandon with his tiny son or daughter makes my heart feel so full. I know he'll be as incredible of a father as he is a husband.

Your favorite quote(s) in regards to Marriage?
"Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut,
 and a woman who can't sleep with the window open."
George Bernard Shaw

"The best way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost."


 true dat.
Photobucket

40 comments:

Valerie Griffin said...

I loved this! & agree 100 percent!

Y'all are a gorgeous couple :)

Wanna swap buttons? I'm grabbing yours now!

Mish Lovin' Life said...

This was an awesome awesome post, Amira.
I especially like #2: Never stop pursuing each other. I couldn't agree more!

Have fun in Arizona!

xoxo

Lauren said...

Great post and great advice Amira!! Some of it's hard to live by (telling him what's wrong right away...not 8 hours of failed silent treatment later is tough for me) but it's all stuff we should strive to achieve. And I agree that opposites attract! D is very (very!!) laid back and I can be a little... not so laid back lol. But it works for us as it obviously works for you!! Love this post :) Happy Friday!!

Jane {In the Pink and Green} said...

Beautiful post Amira! I so agree with everything on your list! Thanks for sharing...and have a lovely weekend! xoxo

Michelle said...

This is fantastic!! Love it! I've been married almost on year now and you're spot on with everything!

I found you from Adventures of Newlyweds, and I'm so excited to be following your awesome blog now!!

Cheers!
Michelle

Emily Hope said...

Oh Amira you're so wise! This is excellent advice. If you ever get divorced - can we get married? I promise I will cook you dinner and sew you pretty aprons. That's all you really need in a partner right? Have a great weekend pretty lady.

Ruthie Hart said...

I love this post Amira! And I totally agree, esp with the point of you can never stop dating your spouse. Just because your married doesn't mean they don't need extra TLC, surprises, nights out, and sweet little gestures. Jon and I are so thankful that we continue to pursue each other :-) I love that picture from your wedding, you can see the happiness and love flowing from your faces!

Britt @ The Magnolia Pair said...

1, 4, and 9 are definitely my favorite. Gosh you just certainly said all of the right words! Have fun at the wedding this weekend ! I can't wait to go to one in May!

Lindsay @ Trial By Sapphire said...

Oh, I love this post! I'll have to do the same thing sometime soon just for the sake of reflecting and writing down memories!

Brooke said...

I love this advice, and I agree 100% with everything! And talk about a gorgeous couple!

vickichristine said...

fabulous and so very true. communication, compromise and forgiveness are all so important and make marriage so freaking awesome. xo

Karla said...

Love the picture, you guys look super happy! Aww thank you for participating its amazing what we can all learn from each other!

Nicole - Craft My Soul said...

What a GREAT post! Thank you so much for sharing this. I'm getting married this year and I'm gonig to take some of these tips with me. In fact, I'm saving it to my computer right now. Great stuff.

Meg {henninglove} said...

enjoy your weekend and have a great time at the wedding!! you are so right about marriage, communicate, forgive, pick your battles, have fun and don't stop flirting, making out or dating each other!! and you have a great example of that amira, i feel fortunate i do as well!

Kristen said...

I love this post! What great advice for newlyweds! I've been married for 8 months and have also realized a lot of those things!

indie by heart said...

I read this post while thinking about my own relationship, even though we're not married. We've know each other for 5 years, but were only friends in the past. Last spring we met again after a long time and fell for each other (actually I was totally smitten already then 5 yrs ago :D) and he moved in with me on November. Sometimes things heat up because I don't have a filter to certain things and I start to mope or raise my voice to nagging - like, but I love him deeply. Thank you for all the tips you've learned. It is always nice to read / hear what I SHOULD do in certain situations :) That helps a lot. Since they're just guys, us girls have to do all the work = couple therapy ! (without them even noticing) ;D
This turned out to quite a long and comprehensive comment about my relationship, hih. I might have to put it to some of my posts ! ^^


Have an awesome weekend! ^^
Your blog seems so sweet. I found here via Niina's blog just few minutes ago and like this really much. :)

Satu
Indie by Heart

ginanorma said...

This is really really great, and after 10 years of marriage, I couldn't agree more! You are so wise so early!

Cas said...

dude. preach it. i feel ya on the competitiveness thing and being right all the time is just so not the goal. and pursuing each other daily can make all the difference! thanks for sharing this wisdom in a world where marriage can be so misunderstood. xo - Cas

Daisy said...

This is such a sweet post! I need to remember these things, I'm getting married in a month and I'm sure ill need them :)

Chelsea said...

What great advice and such a sweet and wonderful post!
xoxo
Chels

Mr. Taylor and his Lady said...

i love this concept to never stop pursuing each other. it's definitely very important!!
xo TJ

Aleksandra said...

I loved this!

twiggy@thedirtlife said...

and the moment happened. the moment i had a minute and ventured over here.

and fate it was.

i've been married for 6 years now!!! whuut. (7 in may). and the things you've written are, in fact, true and STILL IN PROGRESS. i have a feeling it always will be.

and since you brought it up (babies), i've been dreaming about being pregnant, and then i wake up and i'm sad it's just a dream. we don't feel like it's the right time just yet, but i still feel super excited when i think about it. i just needed to tell someone that. *sigh* thanks.

Krista Lynn said...

You are spot on! Great advice!! It seems like you two have such a wonderful marriage!

Jessica @ Lovely Little Things said...

This is such a wonderful post :)
I can't wait to tie the knot!

Just have to finish school first!

Happy weekend, girl!
xo

Ana Magdalena said...

what a beautiful post!
Happy Friday :)


www.therecordologist.blogspot.com

Niina - It seems pretty obvious. said...

This is a beautiful post Amira! (My curiosity can't keep me away from you blog! haha).

I think I might add a bit more spunk to Daniel's life than he bargained for as well. But in the long run, I think he'll thank me for that ;). And I need him to keep me cool...

Jasmine said...

Oh wow! I found your blog through Niina, whose face I want to smoosh due to extreme cuteness (which is completely irrelevant ha) but what is not irrelevant is how lovely this is! I'm off to stalk more of your posts - but I love this so much! I can relate (somewhat) and love the quotes - yay!
Jas
x

Melu103 said...

awww hun!
i seriously loved this post!
you are amazing and sounds like you
guys are the best together.


i always look forward to marriage
so its nice to learn tips from
people that already experience
the whole deal :)


thank you for sharing!

i love reading every single one


xoxo
MELINA
www.onlyaflightaway.blogspot.com

Misty said...

What a sweet post and great reminders.

Jess said...

My husband and I just celebrated our one year anniversary as well... So many wonderful tips and things you've learned :) thank you for sharing.

Mayra Romero said...

Love your post! very sweet :)

stringsandbuttons said...

Thank you for sharing this. It's spot on and makes me feel like there are a lot of people out there who think the same. I especially agree with being honest and straight forward. What great advice. xo

Liz said...

Okay, I LOVED this post and couldn't agree more with all these points!

And this: "We are complete opposites and somehow we work. I'm talking bleeding heart liberal meet your conservative, gun-toting husband. I'm always cold, he's always hot. He has the patience of a saint, I have the patience of a two year old sans a nap. I'm passionate and fiery -- and he's cool, calm and collected. But I'd like to think I add quite a bit of spunk to his life (maybe more than he initially bargained for) and he absolutely calms the lunatic worry wart I can so quickly turn into."

I seriously felt like you were writing about me and Corey!! This is us to a tee! I always joke with him "Wouldn't your life be so boring without me?" haha

Thanks for sharing!

Mariel Torres said...

This is such a sweet post with marvelous advice... thanks for sharing you gems of wisdom with us darling!

Andi of My Beautiful Adventures said...

I'm coming up on my 1 year anniversary, so this is perfect timing! I couldn't agree more with your 10 things. I love that after 7 years of knowing my hubby he still gives me butterflies when he kisses me -- I refuse to let that ever go away! :)

Michelle {lovely little things} said...

Just found your blog via Liz's blog. Love your posts, I am a newlywed myself (4 months tomorrow!!). Hope to be stopping by your blog again soon. :)

Katherine McAdoo said...

definitely! i think communication is really key - and you put it so well.

my husband and i are very much alike, unlike your opposite relationship. we are both designers, same political views, etc etc. we work together incredibly well which makes our lives so much easier - if i have a problem at work, i can go home and discuss it with him and he can help me design it. he also picks out the best clothing.

<3 katherine

Lauren of Spanish Sabores said...

Thanks for such a lovely post! I'm going on almost a year of marriage and I find that I sometimes have trouble picking my battles. I need to stop making a big deal of the small stuff! Like you say marriage is something you work at and I wouldn't change it for anything else :)

Junk Food Junkie said...

Absolutly Love and agree with this post. You guys are the cutest couple!

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