Marriage

Brandon and I are heading to Arizona for a wedding this weekend.
One of his buddies from Law School is finally tying the knot and we can't wait to be there.
It's been awhile since I've been to a wedding and it got me thinking about our own.
I can't believe it's already been a year (and almost a half).
I wanted to share something I guest-wrote for Karla's blog a couple of months ago.

Ten Things I've Learned in my 1 Year of Marriage:

1. Marriage is fun! You get to have slumber parties with your best-friend every.single.night. 

although he will not tickle your back or play with your hair nearly as much as you want him to 

{and there will be more slumbering than partying on most nights.}

2. Never stop pursuing each other. My parents are such a wonderful example of this. They've been married for 32 years and I still find them making out, dancing in the kitchen and holding hands. It's so unfortunate to see some couples, over time, who simply stop making an effort to make each other feel special.

3. That clearing my throat while rubbing my neck and telling him how parched I am will almost always guarantee I get a cold glass of water...even if it's just after he's climbed into bed {in fact this seems to be when I am thirstiest.} 

4. Choose your battles. He's going to fart. He's going to leave the toilet seat up. Are these the most important things in the world? No. (Although in our house it's more like "She's going to leave her shoes all over the house" and "he's going to continue to turn off the heater when you aren't looking.") 

5. Having a great marriage can be hard work. Like anything you want to excel at, it takes patience, dedication and a lot of TLC. I think it's easy to get lazy and comfortable and start taking each other for granted. You have to make a choice every day to put your marriage before your own wants and desires a lot of the time. We feel lucky enough to share a lot of those wants and desires so it makes it easier :-)

6. Forgive. You've made a promise for life. You're also human which means you are going to make lots of mistakes over the course of forever. Forgive, learn, and keep on keepin' on. 

7. COMMUNICATE. Brandon and I dated for about 3 years before we got married and something that I learned very early on was just to tell him how I'm feeling as straightforwardly as possible. Guys don't seem to get hints. If he said something that bummed me out, I don't want to mope about it all day until he realizes what's happened and can come groveling after me {well maybe I do sometimes.} Just be as upfront and honest as possible. 

8. Brandon is my partner in life and someone that I always want to be around but he cannot be my absolute everything, nor I his. I would lose it without my girl friends. We think it's important to have guys' nights or girls' nights, and have separate hobbies. I do NOT want to go out into the garage and work on cars with him. He does NOT want to wear facial masks and paint his toe nails with me. And that's okay :-) 

9. Compromise. Being right is NOT the most important thing. This is something that Brandon and I are still working on, haha. We're both super competitive, and stubborn and sometimes in the heat of the moment being right about something so insignificant can seem like the most important thing in the world. It's not. And I think this attitude can take it's toll on a relationship. So if you're reading this Brandon, let's just admit that I'm usually right and move on ;-) 

10. Accept and embrace your partner for who they are. At the end of the day isn't that what we all want? Someone who loves us just the way we are -- peanut bladder and all. Someone we feel safe with, someone who just "gets" us. Learn to love someone for who they are and forgive them for who they are not. 

What makes your partnership unique?

We are complete opposites and somehow we work. I'm talking bleeding heart liberal meet your conservative, gun-toting husband. I'm always cold, he's always hot. He has the patience of a saint, I have the patience of a two year old sans a nap. I'm passionate and fiery -- and he's cool, calm and collected. But I'd like to think I add quite a bit of spunk to his life (maybe more than he initially bargained for) and he absolutely calms the lunatic worry wart I can so quickly turn into.

When you think about your future what gets you super excited?

Little Grays!!! You guys, I went to SEVEN baby showers in 2011 and it's given me a slight case of baby fever. We aren't quite ready yet but the thought of seeing Brandon with his tiny son or daughter makes my heart feel so full. I know he'll be as incredible of a father as he is a husband.

Your favorite quote(s) in regards to Marriage?

"Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut,
 and a woman who can't sleep with the window open."
George Bernard Shaw

"The best way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost."

 true dat.