Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Not a happy cramper

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I was chatting with Lauren via text awhile ago
and somehow the topic of our first period came up.
Her husband calls it "her pyramid". 
Is this a socially acceptable topic for a blog post?
Does it help if I say it was totally Lauren who brought it up?
Well the convo reminded me of the first time I ever had cramps.


I was in middle school, so 11 or 12 years old, 
and my family had dragged me (drug me?) on a camping trip.
I had zero interest in spending a weekend outside with bugs, and dirt and tents.
To be honest, not much has changed in the last 15 years. 
But alas I had no choice,
and being the angst-ridden pre-teen girl I was,
made sure to pout about it. 

In addition to the normal misery that is camping
I felt awful.
My stomach hurt so badly in a way I couldn't describe.
I was walking back to the tent from the disgusting porta-potty
when it really began to ache.
I decided that it made complete sense to lay down on the dirt trail
in.the.middle.of.the.forest. 
I mean, what was weird about that?
It felt so much better.
So there I was laying in the dirt,
thinking nothing of it
{we were in the middle of nowhere!}
When I'm approached by the ranger in his little ranger truck.

"Young lady are you okay?"

Of course I'm okay.
Is it alarming to you Mr. Ranger to find a young girl laying in the dirt in the middle of the forest?
Weird.
He took me back to my horrified parents
{who still give me a hard time about it to this day}
and I told my mom about my "stomachache".

She gave me a pill and I took a nap in the tent.
It was like a miracle drug.
I was healed!
What was this magical medication she had healed my body with?
Midol.

Welcome to womanhood.

Photobucket

28 comments:

Niina - It seems pretty obvious. said...

Of course it's socially acceptable! We're all grown up women (or men) here :)...

My story; I might have fainted on the bathroom floor :) haha

Liz Brown said...

How fitting this post is ... except the pill part. I just toughed out my first 2 days with no pills at all. I don't recommend it.

I think we all remember those first few periods and (for me) the horrifying feeling of 'this is going to happen EVERY month?!?!?!'

Sandra said...

I remember I used to tough it out. Until one specific time I just could not take it anymore. So I finally agreed to take that tiny pill. Then I thought why didn't I take this sooner!!

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot said...

Lmao I love it. I call mine "shark week" and its the work couple days of my life. Cramps are nothing, when you are throwing up all morning. Fun stuff right?

Mrs. Robinson said...

haha adorable story. you're so endearing. =)

Chalk in the Rain said...

haha this is an awesome story. ONly women who've been there would understand how laying in the middle of a forest on a dirt trail would make a world of difference! Midol is the true miracle pill. I've dealt with the puking, blacking out..no fun at all.

The Mrs. and The Momma said...

Oh my goodness...that makes me chuckle. I got my first period the day that we left for a three day roadtrip for Disney World...in fifth grade!!!! Cramp suck.
-Kristen

Cara said...

Hahaha poop, pyramids- whatever. Anything goes here in blogsphere.

That is hilarious. I think we all remember our horrifying first story but this is too funny.

Robyn said...

hhhha-great story! Don't remember getting cramps when I was younger. I do remember looking forward to it every month and feeling, oh yes, I am a woman!

Sarah Kate said...

Too funny!!!! I feel sorry for you though - that sounds like the worst place to be dealing with cramps!

The day I started my period was the first day of 7th grade. Not exactly how I wanted to begin the schoolyear!

Karla said...

Hahah oh midol!! Lol I think I like that miracle drug!
I remember the first person I ran to was my brother.. wow! In my defense we used to be super close.

Beverly said...

LOLLLLLLLLLL at you lying in the middle of a dirt road AND getting discovered by the ranger?!?! I love you even more than I did before! Your first sounds more exciting than mine was!! ... which was a bore!!! Just me in the restroom saying "AHHHHH MANNNNNN... THIS IS WHAT THEY MEAN?!?!"

Ruthie Hart said...

hahahaha ugh CRAMPS SUCK!

Michelle said...

Oh man, hilarious!! I remember being so mad when I got my first period. I tried to pretend it wasn't happening, and it worked until my mom did the laundry.

Rebecca said...

I see nothing wrong with laying down in the middle of the woods in the middle of a path. Haha, that's funny though.

Melissa said...

Thank you for writing so honestly about this. It definitely shouldn't be taboo.

I had horrible cramps two nights before I started my first period and I had no idea what they were. After that first time, I didn't have cramps for years. They started again after high school and now seem to get worse every month.

Btw, laying down in the dirt seems perfectly normal to me. :]

Nay said...

Definitely an acceptable thing to talk about - lol, have you read my blog? I write about it or elude to it at least once a month!

Emily Hope said...

Aunt Flo needs some loving too - you know everyone be hatin' on her.

Kristen said...

OMG. I have cramps right now. I used to get them so bad I would have to lay on my linoleum bathroom floor waiting for the world's most amazing drug, Midol to do its thing.

Brooke said...

OMG this totally made me flash back to the time that I too layed down on a path hear an out house while camping :) now i must admit mine had a lot more to do with tequila lol it did involve a ranger or maybe it was a stranger asking "is she okay" while I was face down in the pouring rain :)


gah, being a girl sucks sometimes :)

Ben & Cassie said...

hahaha i can just picture you lying in the dirt. Oh man I kind of love this post, my first wasn't till i was 16, but i lied to all my friends that i got it like 3 years earlier. If I only knew the pain, I would have appreciated my late blooming!

lo @ crazy ever after said...

Cramps can suck it. Sometimes I just want to get pregnant so I don't have to deal with them. Cuz I am sure childbirth isn't painful at all, right?

Katie said...

Hahaha I love that you wrote about this! And I love that you layed down in the middle of the forest. Too funny!

Laura said...

Hahaha...that last part was so funny and unexpected!! Oh cramps...they will always suck! My mother in law told me that after she had her babies, she never got cramps again!

Rachel said...

Haha,love this!Brings back tons of memories of my first cramp,that wasn't so glamorous either.

Meg {henninglove} said...

oh my gosh amira this post had me laughing because i can totally picture the ranger coming up to you and saying are you ok? and then midol works everytime!
my first pyramid, i hid under my bed, i was scared, i didn't want to enter womanhood, my mom gave me the tiniest of all tiny pads, apparently she thought little girls didn't start off with big periods.
and don't even get me started when i was forced to use tampons. it just so happen my family was in hawaii on vacation the week of my period. of course i wanted to use the pool.
and so there TMI

Charisma Moran said...

Feeling kind of lucky right now because I have never had to take a Midol! I got my period on my 10th birthday though so I think not having cramps is deserved! lol!

Janna Bogert said...

Thank goodness for our moms. I never really had cramps, but my mom still knew what was going on before I even told her!

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